David Desires to Build a Temple – Bible Study

Hello Readers,

After reviewing the section “Finding Self” in my booklet (autobiography) called He Leadeth Me (p. 20) about two weeks ago, I realized I should contact Thomas Jackson in regarding his past interest in opening a similar facility (like M.E.E.T. Ministry) on the West Coast. However, this was during the time when Thomas Jackson was in the ICU in London after a cardiac arrest. So I found myself waiting to find the right time to connect with him. As of now, I understand he is still recuperating. In the meantime, after reading various reports on how his health was improving on M.E.E.T. Ministry’s Facebook page, I decided to send a message to the person who is running this page. Yes, you can say it was an impulsive move! I usually create a business letter to contact an organization as such (may it be a profit or non-profit organization). But this time, I decided to just share what I had known for all these years so that the administration at M.E.E.T. Ministry can discuss the possibility.

This morning, I found myself reading 2 Samuel 7. Why this chapter? It was the scripture assigned to the read-the-Bible-within-two-years journey that the previous pastor of Apison SDA Church, may he rest in peace, had started with the church. The following is the Bible study I had done this morning:

David Desires to Build a Temple

Read 2 Samuel 7

  • David shared his desire to build a temple for the ark of God
  • Nathan, at first, says “Go do all that is in thine heart…” but, after God spoke to Nathan that night, Nathan had to take back his original words and share with David what God had revealed to him (v. 3-17)
  • David’s response: v. 18-29
    1. He shared with God his condition and how God had revealed the future to him (v. 18-21)
    2. He reminded himself of what God has already done (v. 23, 24)
    3. He desired God to grant what God had said He was going to establish (v. 25) that God’s name may be magnified forever (v. 26)
    4. David mentions again how God had revealed the future to him (v. 27). Because of this revelation, David had found in his heart to pray this type of prayer (v. 18-29). David was “okay” with the “no, I’m giving the job to someone else.”

Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 712, 713

  • “David knew that it would be an honor to his name and would bring glory to his government to perform the work that he had purposed in his heart to do, but he was ready to submit his will to the will of God.”
  • “How often do those who have passed the strength of manhood cling to the hope of accomplishing some great work upon which their hearts are set, but which they are unfitted to perform! God’s providence may speak to them, as did His prophet to David, declaring that the work which they so much desire is not committed to them. It is theirs to prepare the way for another to accomplish it. But instead of gratefully submitting to the divine direction, many fall back as if slighted and rejected, feeling that if they cannot do the one thing which they desire to do, they will do nothing.”
  • While vainly clinging to “accomplish a work for which they are insufficient,” what “which they might do” is left neglected.
  • Because of lack of co-operation on their part, the greater work is hindered or frustrated.

Personal Testimony: Years ago, I had desired to help Thomas Jackson (director of M.E.E.T. Ministry) to open up a smaller scale of M.E.E.T. in California. I have recently shared this concept to a staff member through Facebook. Desiring to help, I shall put this desire in God’s hands. As of now, the administration will be looking over this idea.

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Update: While typing this blog, the person over M.E.E.T. Ministry’s Facebook page messaged me through Facebook to let me know they will be sending me something by email. In the meantime, I will not hold my breath. Instead, I will continue to do things I can do right in front of me. :)

The Vacillator – “How We Love” Workbook (“Exercise” #4)

Hello Readers,

Between chores and errands, I found another time slot to only peek at the workbook for the vacillator. That was yesterday. :/ Now, today (as of right at this moment), I have found another time slot to blog about it! XD *Sighs*

Directly after the section that allows one to assess self (to see if he/she is a vacillator or no), there is a list of “exercises” one can do for the purpose of growth. Number four caught my attention:

“It is very important for you to both develop self-reflection skills and come to understand the origins of your imprint. After all, your expectations for relationships, as well as your reactions to people disappointing you, are fed by your childhood wounds. You must therefore acknowledge and accept that you probably have a strong desire to find a person who can relieve all your ‘bad’ feelings by being close, staying engaged, and giving you lots of attention. The agitation and uncertainty you feel when this does not happen isn’t new. You felt it countless times as a child. So continue to review childhood memories and ask God to help you identify the roots of your imprint. This exercise means taking the focus off your current relationships and everything people do to hurt of anger you. Instead, spend a season looking inward and asking God to reveal the wounds that drive your current feelings, behaviors, and reactions. That truth will begin to set you free. Write down the insights God brings you as you continue to pray this prayer” (Yerkovich & Yerkovich, 2008, p. 335).

Out of this paragraph came truth for me. While growing up in my parents’ house, both parents kept busy that I felt as if I couldn’t go to them with some deep emotional worries. So, therefore, I put in my mind the concept of having one person who would “relieve all [of my] ‘bad’ feelings by being close, staying engaged, and giving [me] lots of attention.” In retrospect, what I really needed was validation. Never really needed just “a person.”

Stress, in general, come and go in life. But to have only one person to be the receiver would be so taxing for just one person. What I have found out is that when a stressful event is happening, sharing how the event is stressful with the person (or people) that are also enduring the stress is more beneficial than waiting to get home (or go to someone’s house) or call someone (like a BFF). Why? Because those that are in the stressful event gets it more because they are enduring the same event with you. Now will they validate your feelings? Hmm… can’t answer that question because people are so diverse that it all depends if they have “other things” on their mind or are they focused on the here-and-now.

Another point that was informative was how “the agitation and uncertainty you feel when [people disappoint you] isn’t new” because “you felt it countless times as a child.” Because the feelings of disappointment are new, one can learn from each event when disappointment comes. This is why developing self-reflection skills is critical. Only then when one be able to understand the origins of his or her imprint. Therefore, the authors admonish the reader to continue to review childhood memories and, if you are Christ-minded, ask God to help identify the roots of the imprint. In other words, take the focus off of the current relationship (outward) and look at the wounds that drive your current behavior, feelings, and reactions (inward). The authors also recommend to write the insights down.

The truth will set you free.

Reference: Yerkovich, M. & Yerkovich, K (2008). How we love. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.

There is Hope for the Vacillator

Hello Readers,

After reading several items (book, magazine, etc.) at once, I finally got to read the end of Chapter 7 in How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich: The Vacillator Love Style. For more information on what a vacillator is, please review my previous blog (https://belovedgeliebt.wordpress.com/2015/08/16/what-can-be-done-for-the-vacillator). According to Yerkovich & Yerkovich (p. 98, 2008), the growth goals of a vacillator are as follows:

  1. Recognize yourself as a vacillator.
  2. Take responsibility for your part.
  3. Start with the concept of being more direct about what you exactly want and need instead of believing “If my spouse loved me, he/she would just know.”
  4. Instead of getting mad, learn to express the hurt.
  5. Try to see both the good and the bad in any person or situation “instead of idealizing the situation and devaluing the other person.”
  6. The accompanying workbook (in the back of How We Love) “is a must.”
  7. *Understanding and changing your love style can mean “dramatic progress toward achieving more of the deep connection and intimacy you have always desired.”
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*Note: Just the idea of achieving a deep connection and intimacy that vacillators “have always desired” cannot be emphasized enough!
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For those that are married to a vacillator, the workbook has some ideas on how one can support the spouse on his/her journey of growth and healing.
I will be viewing the workbook section of the book shortly. As for now, may our journey feel a little lighter as we see the light in the tunnel.
Reference: Yerkovich, M. & Yerkovich, K (2008). How we love. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.

What Can Be Done for the Vacillator?

Hello Readers,

Yesterday, in Pastor Brian Burgess’s Sabbath School class, I had an “ah ha” moment. His class is currently reading How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Last week, they had read over chapter seven, “The Vacillator Love Style,” and was discussing about it yesterday in class. I was invited to this class by one of the ladies that has been attending the class. I sat in about six weeks ago and felt impressed to sit in on a continual basis.

With this background in mind, I had no idea about the vacillator imprint. Never heard about it during the counseling program at Southern Adventist University (only heard about the pleaser, controller, and avoider imprint during Marriage and Family Therapy class). So it was interesting to learn about the vacillator imprint and accept that I am one (took online quiz and found out that I am 93% a vacillator).

According to Yerkovich & Yerkovich, a vacillator may have experienced “sporadic and unpredictable connection in [his or her] home growing up” (2008, p. 87). “People imprinted to be vacillators commonly experience periods of abandonment growing up. At times their parents truly connect with them, but consistency is difficult. Mom or Dad suddenly disengage, becoming absorbed in their own emotions or interests, and thus are unavailable to their children” (Yerkovich & Yerkovich, 2008, p. 89). What caused my “ah ha” moment was as follows: the push-pull style of relationships; I want you but, since you’re not meeting my expectations, I don’t want you.

Now, before readers go blaming their parents for such a condition, note that parents “usually do the best they can” and “all of us come into marriage and parenting with shortcomings” (Yerkovich & Yerkovich, 2008, p. 89). And, since all of us want to do our best in spouse and parenting relationships, it’s only right to sit back and review what may be hindering the relationship; not to sit back and point out who it was that damaged us. “The goal is to acknowledge the truth of our childhood so we have a road map for growth and change” (Yerkovich & Yerkovich, 2008, p. 89).

So what can be done for vacillators? Is there no hope for us? Are we doomed with an never ending feeling of loneliness that refuses to be quenched?

I found my escape in the spiritual aspect of self. God is always there. He doesn’t let me down. But what about those who aren’t spiritually minded?

The answers are found in How We Love and I would love to share here on my blog my findings. However, if my sharing is not up to your speed, feel free to find a copy of this book and even feel free to share your findings here. :) For those that are interested in taking the love style quiz, here is the link: https://www.howwelove.com/love-style-quiz

May we continue to encourage one another as we progress on this journey of life.

Amazing Grace – My “Last” Autobiography

Hello Readers,

I finished my “special gift” on my birthday. How wonderful! I was blessed in typing it up and I hope you will be blessed in reading it. As I have mentioned in the epilogue, I believe this is the “last” autobiography I have to share. However, I won’t be surprised if I find another one (as in notebook) that is full of my thoughts because I wrote a lot back then. :)

Amazing Grace

Parenting

Hello Readers!

I had post the following on Facebook about two days ago. The topic: Parenting.

“Parenting is not easy. Some parents just give out entertainment to their children so they will leave the parents alone. [My husband’s name] and I have decided not to do such a thing. We want to guide our children so they can make choices on their own. We share the wisdom we have to offer (like Native Americans often do) and allow the natural consequences to be the teacher. But sometimes it is so hard to be patient when it appears our children are not learning from their mistakes. Yes, this is when parenting becomes a challenge. But, looking forward, I have the faith to believe the children will look back and remember what wisdom we had given to them and thank us for sharing such things with them. Yes, parenting can be frustrating at times, too. But to know that, from a spiritual aspect, we are not parenting our little ones alone (our Higher Power is with us) often makes the blow easier. So may us parents continue to encourage each other and lift not just our children in prayer but one another in prayer as well.” – Melanie Hubbard

He Leadeth Me – An Autobiography Written While Doing Missionary Work

Hello Readers,

I had started typing this one up years ago (2003?) and realized I never finished it. After typing a little here and there this year, I have finally finished. This autobiography is special because I had written it will going from one missionary project to another (hence, the title). I had grew spiritually from just being in the midst of service. I pray that it will also help you grow spiritually.

He Leadeth Me