This will be my last blog before I have my C-Section on May the 28th (or, if unborn child decides to come earlier than scheduled). Shortly after writing my last blog entry, I used some of the tax return my spouse and I had received for filing our 2017 taxes to pay for Psychopharmacology Survey Course that is online through Alliant International University (to recall why I have to take this course, please read a previous blog entry of mine here). I have been watching the lectures; looking at the PowerPoint presentations; and taking the quizzes for four weeks, now (went over foundations, depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorders). They are allowing me to take the quizzes 101 times and I can re-watch the lectures. I’m just wondering that, after I take the final exam, will I still have access to the lectures and PowerPoint presentations. According to the syllabus, I can only take the final exam twice. I’m hoping and praying that I will pass the final exam so that I won’t have to repay for this course; it’s almost $600. 😦
In the meantime, my unborn baby girl is growing every week and continues to move in my womb (she’s moving as I type and I often am stopping to reposition my belly; she’s stretching and it is stretching me out to the limit). I have been looking and applying for remote/work-from-home jobs at LinkedIn and ZipRecruiter so I can continue to receive income from a job while being either pregnant or post-natal. H&R Block was a nice job opportunity because I was able to continue to work in my seasonal job position until I became too big for me to waddle to the workplace. Now, it is rather difficult for me to get out of the vehicle and walk from a parking spot that is about five parking spaces from whatever establishment I need to walk into (for example, WalMart parking space #5 to the front door is a challenge). I cannot sit in an “L” position because unborn baby’s back/butt (in which she has a name but I am not placing it on my blog) is protruding too far out that I don’t have much of a lap any more—I have to sit like I am a male; I cannot close my legs and remain comfortable in that position. So practicing driving is not even happening and I really don’t think it is safe to drive when the driver’s belly is protruding this far out. I’ll have to wait until I have my baby to get back in the driver’s seat once again to practice for driving test.
Simply put, I will be so grateful to have it just me in my body instead of me and unborn child!
As for getting our apartment more homely, my husband bought me a bookshelf from a store I will not say because half of it broke on him when he was sliding it from our living room to our bedroom. I am still using the shelves to the broken half by using cement blocks to hold the shelves up (that is what my TV sits on). So the only boxes left on our bedroom floor are the ones we usually have underneath our bed frames but we don’t have bed frames yet to place those boxes underneath. We still need to buy a dresser to hold our clothing (still using plastic storage containers). I bought some more wall art today to reduce the look of blank walls in our living room.
To update about my husband’s family’s “thing”: unfortunately, my husband’s family was bamboozled (to say it moderately) and someone had either forged my father-in-law’s signature or had my father-in-law to sign his estate away while he wasn’t in his right mind and, therefore, all of my father-in-law’s estate is going to some random person instead the family. The lawyer told my husband there was nothing he could do. It caused a snowball effect on my mother-in-law in which I will not share here. It really caused a mess for us because, since my husband had to go out of town to deal with all this legal issue, my husband had took off of work and, therefore, we lacked that portion of his income. So this pushed us back in getting more necessary furniture into our apartment (i.e. beds). Just to get off of the floor, we might end up buying air mattresses. I’m the fortunate one that has my Snoogle pregnancy pillow to sleep on and other nice cushions that I had for myself when we did have a bed (including the usage of one comforter and four blankets). I keep reminding my husband that it is hard financially right now and it will not always be this way. I also keep reminding him to deal with providing for the family together with God but he keeps saying that his human side continues to worry.
I hope in sharing all of this allows someone out there to know he/she is not alone. I hope you also know that it is just hard for this moment in time in your life. Things can turn out to be better. Search for resources in your community. Find people that care and want to help you become the best you can be (ex: social worker, case worker, pastor, mental health counselor, case manager, etc.). You do not have to be alone in this! Please reach out to others that can help you.