Book Review – Flawless

Dear Reader,

Hello! I hope you are doing well. I find myself back here again due to having two library books due next week and I want to find time to write about them both before I have to return them. The one I will write about today is called Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital by Elise Hu.

I learned about this book by listening to “CBS Mornings on the Go” podcast (click here to listen to the episode). To watch a video version, click here. This book meant a lot to me because I work in the mental health area and understand how certain thoughts/behaviors from collective cultures can become a problem. I do love collective cultures and admire how they work together to get things done. But just as individualism has cons, so does collectivism.

Reading about the history that is associated with lookism and other -isms allowed me to view certain things I heard about the Korean culture in a different lighting. There was a famous social media post that was going around a few/several years ago about an Asian man who ended up divorcing his wife after finding out her physical appears was created through surgery. Americans didn’t understand why such a man would do such a thing because we lack the understanding of the Asian culture (i.e. in “Flawless,” it stated how looks are important in Korea for job security, etc. and so if their offspring doesn’t look a certain way, they can be shunned by society). The historical background caused me to say “ah, ha!” on several occasions.

Another “ah, ha” was from recalling a fellow graduate student who was also into Korean drama, food, community, etc. had stated during class how Koreans were currently having high suicidal rates. She also sounded like she had a longing to help those from this demographic. It all made sense after reading chapters of this book.

I want to encourage you to read this book. If you aren’t a reader, you can listen to the audio or watch the video of what Elise Hu states from her own experience while in Korea (see the links above).

For more information about Elise Hu, click here. To get a copy of Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital, click here. To join the flawless inside list, click here.

Reference

Hu, E. (2023). Flawless : lessons in looks and culture from the K-beauty capital. Dutton, an imprint of Peguin Random House LLC.

Quiet – Book Review

Dear Reader,

I hope you and yours are doing well. A little over a month ago, I had read Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain (click here to review the introduction blog entry; review up to Chapter 4 blog entry by clicking here). The front cover of Bittersweet stated how the author had written another book entitled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This is the book I will be explaining about below.

I am currently still reading Quiet but I thought since I am enjoying and embracing a taste of quietness in my apartment (well, as much as quietness I can have while everyone in my family is home), I would write a review. I really like the style of Cain’s writing. She enlightens the reader with background information before making statements. Her introduction in Quiet started with the story of Rosa Parks. Rosa Parks was someone that I was drawn to when one of my elementary teachers shared her story to the class. It makes sense to note that she was an introvert for I’m also an introvert (correction: I’m actually an ambivert but I say “introvert” when conversing with others so they will understand why I might start to “drift” during conversing with others). As for Rosa Parks:

They said she was “timid and shy” but had “the courage of a lion.” They were full of phrases like “radical humility” and “quiet fortitude.”

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (2013, p. 2)

At the end of that quote, Cain continues by saying “What does it mean to be quiet and have fortitude? these descriptions asked implicitly. How could you be shy and courageous?” (Cain, 2013, p. 2).

To find this answer, I would recommend reading this book or watch the video below.

In Chapter 1, Susan explains how extroversion became the cultural ideal in Western society and has even appeared in other places around the world. She follows up this chapter by debunking the myth of charismatic leadership. I found Chapter 3 quite interesting only because it confirmed my hunch: how collaboration tends to kills creativity (I can only be my best in creativity when I am alone—even when it comes to creating blog entries). Side Note: This doesn’t mean that we all should stop collaborating due to history has shown how great inventions can come from collaboration (for further explanation, read Quiet and/or watch about ten minutes into the video below).

Before I continue, I want to say there are strengths and weaknesses with introverts and extroverts. Cain explains this nicely and states how one can learn from each other and provide a greater projection of productivity that will benefit humanity. And respecting differences (i.e. Free Trait Agreement) “acknowledges that we’ll each act out of character some of the time—in exchange for being ourselves the rest of the time” (Cain, 2013, p. 221) is a win-win for everyone.

The following is a video of Susan Cain explaining the power of introverts.

To summarize this book, if all of us was given the “okay” to be ourselves (i.e. accept and treasure our strengths), not only can we learn and appreciate our differences, we can also bring our best self as an employer, parent, and other responsibilities in life.

To learn more about Susan Cain, click here. To get a copy of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, click here. To take the Are You An Introvert or An Extrovert quiz that is found in Quiet, click here.

Reference

Cain S. & Crown Publishing Group. (2013). Quiet : the power of introvers in a world that can’t stop talking (1st paperback). Broadway Books an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group a division of Random House.

From Hustle to Happiness

Dear Reader,

It’s been a while. I have been wanting to return here but whenever I dreamed of doing so, I didn’t have anything to share. But now that I do, I find myself writing again.

I came across an article that was posted by NAMI on LinkedIn. It talks about how the hustle culture is harming our mental health. I immediately said “yes” to this. While sitting with clients, I often hear their stories of the “rush, rush” mantra: I gotta do this or that. Out of my natural curiosity, I want to say “why” but I know just asking doesn’t allow someone to see the “why.” It’s a process one has to take. There is some good in all cultures but it’s up to us to take the journey to weed out the bad. And this often is a long journey. Reader, if you had started this journey, my hope is that you will continue this journey and come out of the other side more wiser and confident than you were when you had started.

For those that would like the read the article about how toxic the hustle culture is, click here.

Unfortunately, the article ended without providing a solution. However, maybe this is not unfortunate. There is not one solution to this problem. With this in mind, I would like to provide one solution. If trying to keep up with the demands in life will not bring happiness, then what can?

I want to encourage you to at least listen to this CBS Morning podcast to at least hear a definition of happiness and then start your journey towards what you understand is happiness. And if you are one of those that shudder when you hear the word “mindfulness,” hear what the interviewee states about his journey in understanding what mindfulness is. To listen to this podcast, click here.

Whatever you chose to do, enjoy the journey!