Book Review – Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age

Dear Reader,

Hello, there! I hope you are doing well. I am currently reading three books from the library right now (not counting graphic novels). Not on purpose! I was in line for one book that is 966 pages and, somehow, I bounced from about ninth to first in line within a week or so. I groaned because it didn’t seem possible to read this book (in which I cannot renew) and also two other books that are 200-something pages. But, because Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age by Katherine May is an easy-read for me (like reading essays) and the other 200-something-pages book is a spiritual one, it is getting done. So, before I have to return all three of those books, I am striving to write about each one of them by this upcoming Tuesday.

I learned about Katherine May and her book entitled Enchantment from episode 220 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). She was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

One thing that I had read that I thought was deep in the book was how May realized why she was experiencing burnout. She had willingly surrendered her meditation time “because I thought it would be a vanity to demand it” (May, 2023, p. 50). So I thought to myself “how many of us do something similar and wonder why we are experiencing burnout?” May didn’t just give up meditation but also reading, time alone, hot baths, walking, silence, and standing in the garden at sunrise (2023, May). She replaced those things with work and “care” (May, 2023, p. 50). As a result, May found out that, without them, there was nothing left of herself (2023).

What Katherine May found out about present-day burnout is something that I can relate to—it showed her that she is ready to be made again (2023).

How have I allowed this great pleasure in my life—the act of sitting quietly with a book and drinking in its words—to become so heavy, so freighted with obligation? Somewhere along the line, I lost the sense of playfulness that drew me towards it in the first place. No wonder my reading went on strike.

Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age (2023, p. 129)

According to May, one form of enchantment is play (2023). She mentioned she has been fascinated by how adults play.

Conventional wisdom says that most of us lose the thread of it, our minds greying alongside our hair. But that’s because we only recognise a certain kind of play, and so only associate playfulness with the adults who carry on doing the things that we expect children to do, like springing practical jokes and collecting stuffed toys. All that shows is our limited vocabulary for pleasure. It is either childlike—primary-coloured, messy, loud—or adult, dark and smoky, transgressive. These are only some of the ways it’s possible to play. Deep play—those big, immersive, unprofitable processes in which we invest our whole identity—is fundamental to me, and yet mine looks dry to the outside world, colourless.

Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age (2023, p. 137)

The last thing I wanted to share is how May stated that childhood talent doesn’t necessarily translate to an adult one (2023). She had learned what happens when one turns away from play: bitterness, frustration, not feeling/being nurtured, and feeling strangled (May, 2023). If one has noticed such “symptoms,” please keep reading.

May, who is on the autistic spectrum, explained how, when she was a child, her type of play was with words and, like many autistic children, she grew up thinking that wasn’t the right kind of play (2023). She was urged to go outside, play with dolls, and run around but all she wanted to do was write (2023). (Side Note: to read more on what I had already written on how Katherine May describes how it is to be a woman on the autistic spectrum, click here). What I got from this is to find your type of play and do this often to avoid burnout. Get back into the wonder of the world in various elements: earth, water, fire, and air. These were the things that gave us a sense of wonder as a child. Unfortunately, as adults, we lose the sense of wonder due to adult-duties. The hope is that we can gain some of this wonder back.

To get a copy of Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age by Katherine May, click here. To learn more about Katherine May, click here. To read her insight on autism, click here. For independent women that are searching for a resource on how to be safe while being on the autistic spectrum, I recommend The Independent Woman’s Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum by Robyn Steward (click here to read my book review).

Reference

May, K. (2023). Enchantment : awakening wonder in an anxious age. Riverhead Books.

Book Review – Letters to a Young Poet

Dear Reader,

I hope you are doing well. I wanted to share with you what prompted me to read Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke. Towards the end of episode 283 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle), Glennon Doyle stated the following:

What I would say to everyone who is working on their relationship with this and who has an innate sense of sadness, godness, whatever it is, there’s a book you must get, and it’s called Letters to a Young Poet. It’s by Rilke, and it is a guidebook for those of us that are negotiating living with being the sadness in the godness. It’s a collection of letters from this poet named Rilke who was writing back and forth to a young student who went to the same college that Rilke had graduated from. This kid, this student, had heard of him in his classes, because he was the famous one who graduated that all the teachers talked about. He was a poet, and poets live in the sadness, and in the godness, and wrestle with the big questions of life there.

And so the poet started writing to him saying, basically, “Can you just talk to me about being human.” Not about how to adult, because everyone’s talking about that, but how to human. There’s a series of letters, and one is about the sadness. Okay, so I’m going to read to you, Allison. This is for you. Okay?

The kid’s name is Mr. Kappus. Side note, Rilke wanted to send his books of poetry to this poet, but he couldn’t, because he couldn’t afford his own books. He could not afford his own books of poetry, so he had to tell the kid that the kid could go buy them, but he couldn’t send them, because he didn’t own any of his own books.

Okay, this is the eighth letter. “I want to talk to you again for a little while, dear Mr. Kappus. Please ask yourself whether somewhere, some place deep inside your being,” Allison, “you have undergone important changes while you were sad.

If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches and even a little beyond the outworks of our presentment, perhaps we would bear our sadnesses with greater trust than we have in our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown. Everything in us withdraws, a silence arises, and the new experience, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it all and says nothing.

That is why the sadness passes the new presence inside us. The presence that has been added, has entered our heart, has gone into its innermost chamber, and is no longer even there, is already in our bloodstream, and we don’t know what it was. We could easily be made to believe that nothing happened, and yet we have changed as a house that a guest has entered changes. We can’t say who has come, perhaps we will never know, but many signs indicate that the future enters us in this way in order to be transformed in us long before it happens.

The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us. And the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate, and later on when it, quote ‘happens’, that is when it steps forth out of us to other people, we will feel related and close to it in our innermost being and that is necessary.”

Allison, in other words, what the sadness is making you, inside, soon will step out of you and meet your outer circumstances, and if you have been paying attention to what that sadness has done inside of you, when that future self steps out and does something brave and amazing, you will be able to look at her and say, “There she is. I knew her. She was inside of me before she was outside of me.” You must be frightened, Allison, if a sadness rises in front of you larger than any you have ever seen, if an anxiety like light and cloud shadows moves over your hands and over everything you do, oh, you must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall.

Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since, after all, you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside of you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change.

If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien, so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness, and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better. In you, so much is happening now, Allison. You must be patient like someone who is sick, and confident like someone who is recovering, for perhaps you are both. More, you are also the doctor who has to watch over herself. But in every sickness there are many days when the doctor can do nothing but wait, and that is what you, insofar as you are your own doctor, must do now more than anything else.

Doyle, G. (2024). How Glennon Transforms Sadness into Power

After that statement, Abby had said “Wow.” I also said “Wow” as well as “I got to read that book!” I love reading correspondence letters and I was disappointed that it was only the responses from the poet (the student’s responses were missing). But before I go further into the book, I wanted to mention the title of episode 283 of “We Can Do Hard Things” is “How Glennon Transforms Sadness into Power.” I highly recommend either listening or reading this entire episode.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

Now, back to the book Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke.

Besides the topic of sadness, Rilke mentioned other topics such as self expression and first love. I had noticed the tenderness this poet expressed while reaching out to someone that reminded him of his younger self (the student who was blossoming into a writer/poet). He gave great advice when responding to the student’s inquiry of dealing with the responses from readers of his writings. If you are a “poet in training,” I would highly recommend reading this book. If you are a young person about to experience a “first,” read this book!

To get a copy of Letters to a Young Poet, click here. To learn more about Rainer Maria Rilke, click here.

Book Review – Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends

Dear Reader,

I hope you are doing well. I have a “WOW” for you! This book is so popular right now that when I was attempting to order it from Amazon, there is only a few copies left. I believe it is because it was mentioned during episode 179 and 180 on “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). Dr. Marisa G. Franco, the author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends, was the guest speaker.

Listen to episode 179 for free by clicking here (for direct link, if it works, click here).

Read the transcript for episode 179 by clicking here.

Listen to episode 180 by clicking here.

Read the transcript for episode 180 by clicking here.

What I appreciate about Dr. Marisa G. Franco is how she was frank with the concept of many of us adults believe making friends should occur naturally due to recalling how it used to be when one was a child at school. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it isn’t a natural things. Hence, one has to put forth effort to have a satisfying friendship.

I highly recommend this book and since it’s one of those books that makes sense to read page by page, this is all I will say about this book. However, if you would like to have a taste of the book or even want to get a copy, please see the author’s website by clicking here. To learn more about Dr. Marisa G. Franco, click here.

Book Review – Good Inside

Dear Reader,

Hello! I hope you are doing well. I wanted to take this time to introduce to you Dr. Becky Kennedy. And, no, I am not going to get into the argument about the statement “good inside” (Side Note: many Christians are against this phrase and so that is what I am referring to here) because this is not the space for this controversial topic. The book is entitled Good Inside and it was Dr. Becky who decided to call it that (in which she explains why). So that is what I will be referring to, here (i.e. I’m talking about Dr. Becky’s work and not arguing over a doctrinal issue).

Now that that is clear, I would like to share how I learned about Dr. Becky Kennedy. I was introduced to Dr. Becky through episode 130 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). She was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

Dr. Becky is a child psychologist and also a mom. She is also the founder of Good Inside and also is the author of the book Good Inside: A Guide To Becoming The Parent You Want To Be.

Within this book, you will find gold! She offers great pointers to parents who find themselves struggling with raising resilient and emotionally healthy children. Inside includes psychoeducation, examples, and strategies. Here are some topics that are included:

• Reducing shame
• Telling the truth
• Building connection
• When a child is “not listening”
• Emotional tantrums
• Aggressive tantrums
• Sibling rivalry
• Rudeness and defiance
• Whining
• Lying
• Fears and anxiety
• Hesitation and shyness
• Frustration intolerance
• Food and eating habits
• Consent
• Building confidence
• Perfectionism
• Separation anxiety
• Sleep

What I found helpful was the discussion of how two things can be true.

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A post shared by Dr. Becky Kennedy | Parenting (@drbeckyatgoodinside)

Having such a discussion with children is a great breakthrough for both parents and children since both entities may be struggling in this area. Another thing is that it is not too late for parents to teach certain behaviors. In other words, don’t say “I broke my child(ren)” because of the power of repair. See video below for more information.

To get a copy of Good Inside, click here. To learn more about Dr. Becky Kennedy, click here. To listen to “Good Inside” podcast, click here. To follow Dr. Becky on Instagram, click here. To start your roadmap of becoming the parent you want to be, click here.

Book Review – The Body Is Not An Apology

Dear Reader,

I was introduced to Sonya Renee Taylor through episode 168 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). She was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

Soyna Renee Taylor has written a beautiful book (entitled The Body Is Not An Apology: The Power Of Radical Self-Love) that reminds us that when we came into the world as a baby, we didn’t have certain beliefs (ex: I am not enough). It was living in the world that caused us to take on thoughts such as “I am not enough.” Within the book, Taylor shares how she came to see radical self-love is what we all should aim for due to anything else that doesn’t mention to accept all bodies reverently then we are still doing a disservice of the completeness of the entire human body. In other words, just mentioning a certain type of bodies (ex: ableism) still excludes others so “a radical self-love world is a world that works for every body” (Taylor, 2021, p. 5). And “how we value and honor our own bodies impacts how we value and honor the bodies of others” (Taylor, 2021, p. 5).

Another aspect of the book was where the title comes from. Taylor said it dawned on her when she heard how Brene Brown stated “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive” (2021, p. xiv). As a result, Taylor was transported to all of the times she was sorry for having a “wrong, bad body” (2021, p. xv). It was when the words she had said to someone else started to resonate within her: “Soyna, your body is not an apology” (2021, p. xv). In other words, whenever she noticed herself saying erroneous statements such as “My bad. I’m so stupid,” her voice would retort, “Your body is not an apology.”

But why the body? Due to us humans having various values, morals, beliefs, and ideas and, within this struggling to find some type of agreement on such things for centuries, the only thing we all can agree with is that we have a body. “Everything else we think we know is up for debate” (Taylor, 2021, p. 4). So when we speak about the “ills of the world—violence, poverty, injustice—we are not speaking conceptually; we are talking about things that happen to bodies” (Taylor, 2021, p. 4-5).

What would happen if we stop apologizing what we have been apologizing for? “Dismantling the culture of apology requires an investigation into the anatomy of an apology” (Taylor, 2021, p. 15). The culture of apology includes saying sorry for intentionally hurting someone (ex: accidently stepping on someone’s foot, say “sorry”). Taylor states she isn’t encouraging someone to become self-centered. However, she is asking one to ask why should one apologize for just being in a world that often states we are in the world with the “wrong body”? If one was to make peace with differences, how different would this world be?

I could write more but it’s best to find a copy of this book and read it. It’s an amazing book and I highly recommend it. To get a copy of The Body Is Not An Apology, click here. To learn more about Sonya Renee Taylor, click here.

Reference

Taylor S. R. (2021). The body is not an apology : the power of radical self-love (Second edition. Revised and expanded second). Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Book Review – The Light We Carry

Dear Reader,

I hope you and yours are doing well. Please allow me to share another book I am almost done reading. It is entitled The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama. Prior to this book, Mrs. Obama had written Becoming (click here to read my blog entry on my explanation of this book). I enjoyed her first book so when I heard in March from episode 193 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle) that she had written another book, I was thoroughly excited. 🙂

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

Glennon Doyle summed up The Light We Carry very nicely (2023, Doyle):

Long ago when sister and Abby and I heard that Mrs. Obama had a new book coming out, I remember saying to sister on the phone, “Just please God let it be like here’s everything I know about how to human.” That’s what I said to my sister. And it is. Mrs. Obama’s newest, glorious book, The Light We Carry, is about how she humans. Woven through her deeply intimate stories are her personal human name tools, her concrete strategies for navigating life, marriage, motherhood, and career with grace and grit, with toughness and tenderness. Mrs. Obama believes that everyone has a light and her book and accompanying new show, The Light podcast, is about ways to protect and rekindle our light, see and amplify the light in others, and light up the world together. 

Doyle, G. (2023). Michelle Obama!

I actually watched “The Light We Carry: Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey” Netflix special (click here for that information) before I had a copy of The Light We Carry (as in the book). So when I started to read the beginning of the book, I said “Oh! That was what I had seen in the Netflix special.” Watching the Netflix special was so warming—two great Black women pillars sitting on a stage and being “real.” Such wisdom they both have!

Michelle Obama wrote this book to address what many Americans were seeing during the pandemic: “unarmed Black folks continue to get killed by police,” “vile hate crimes carried out against Asian Americans and members of the LGBTQ+ community,” intolerance and bigotry growing more acceptable rather than less,” “a sitting president stand by as police officers unleashed tear gas on thousands of people who’d gathered peacefully in front of the White House,” etc. (Obama, 2022, p. 13). With this seeing, many Americans were angry and felt despondent. While trying to find our way over such obstacles, it’s natural to ask for a formula for resilience. How can we locate our power of ability to “go high” when in a low place? Mrs. Obama says there is no formula. But, she does encourage us to find our individual lights—finding our “personal power, communal power, and the power to override feelings of doubt and helplessness” (Obama, 2022, p. 17)—and let that shine onto others.

To receive a copy of The Light We Carry click here. To watch “The Light We Carry: Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey” Netflix special, click here. To listen to “Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast” podcast, click here.

References

Obama M. (2022). The light we carry : overcoming in uncertain times (First). Crown.

Doyle, G. (2023). Michelle Obama!. Apple Podcasts Preview. https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/michelle-obama/id1564530722?i=1000606222468

All In – Book Review

Dear Reader,

I was introduced to Billie Jean King through episode 107 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). She was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

When I found out she had written a book about her life, I wanted to read it right away. Tennis has been a part of my life because of my Dad whom has also made history in tennis in California when it comes to being a Black American (Side Note: I don’t know how to play but have attempted to learn by asking my Dad to teach me).

When I found out that All In is over 400 pages, I knew I needed to find time to be able to read so many pages before I had to return it to the library. So, when I found out that I had time a month ago to place it in my scheduled (over a year after placing it under my “to read” section at GoodReads), I requested for the book through my local public library. I am currently still reading it since it is due this Tuesday. However, before placing the book in the return slot, I wanted to at least start writing about the book while I have it in my hands.

The following introduction on Billie Jean King is from the above podcast episode (2022, Doyle):

One of the 100 most important Americans of the 20th century by life magazine, and a 2009 recipient of the presidential medal of freedom, Billie Jean King is the founder of the Billie Jean King leadership initiative, founder of the Women’s Tennis Association and the Women’s Sports Foundation, and part of the ownership group of the Los Angeles Dodgers, Angel City FC, and the Philadelphia Freedoms. King also serves on the board of the women’s sports foundation. In her legendary tennis career, King captured 39 grand slam singles, doubles, and mixed doubles titles. 

Doyle, G. (2022). Billie Jean King: Abby’s Hero Shares Her Hardest Battle

To read more about her bio, click here.

Now to talk about her book entitled All in: An Autobiography.

Learning about Billie Jean King was a privilege for me. Her family, friends, associates, etc. has been explained in such a full color that I felt that I was able to know them so well that when I heard their names during the time of 2023 US Open, I would exclaimed “I learned about him/her/they in Billie Jean’s book!” This lady has opened up so many doors that it makes sense to see her names in various places. Whenever I see a photo of her, I view it with respect and awe. I also smile. Besides women, she desires equal opportunity for anyone which includes males (ex: blacks and those with disabilities). Side Note: wrote “includes males” since Billie Jean King explains in the “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast episode and in her autobiography that many men often think when women are pushing for equal opportunity they are only pushing for women.

I didn’t mean to start reading All In during the time of 2023 U.S. Open. When I found out U.S. Open was happening, I was excited because of reading All In. Then I was disappointed because I don’t have access to ESPN. However, I have access to social media so before I read about Coco Gauff in All In, I watched the following Instagram reel that @darkskinwomen had placed on their account.

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A post shared by Dark Skin Women (@darkskinwomen)

And to that video, I said “You go girl! You stand up for yourself.” So seeing the following photo in my Instagram newsfeed last night was so amazing.

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A post shared by US Open (@usopen)

Coco Gauff and Billie Jean King with championship trophy

And then watch the following video just sums it all up.

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A post shared by US Open (@usopen)

Coco Gauff receiving her prize money of 3 million dollars

To receive a copy of All in: An Autobiography click here. To watch an HBO documentary on Billie Jean King, click here. Watch a Ted Talk video on Billie Jean King below.

References

King, B. J. (2022). All in: an autobiography. Billie Jean King Enterprises, Inc.

Doyle, G. (2022). Billie Jean King: Abby’s Hero Shares Her Hardest Battle. Apple Podcasts Preview. https://podcasts.apple.com/si/podcast/how-to-be-more-alive-with-cole-arthur-riley/id1564530722?i=1000565730425

Women And Autism

Dear Reader,

I how you are doing well. I have been attempting to return to my blog to share what I have gathered with the topic of women and autism. As I had written here, I have learned about Hannah Gadsby while listening to episode 82 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle).

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

This was the first time I heard the word “neurotypical” and “neurodivergent.” Hannah Gadsby was the ones that stated both words. She is on the autistic spectrum and has written a book called Ten Steps to Nanette (click here to read my book review).

Many episodes later, Glennon Doyle had another woman who is on the autistic spectrum to speak on “We Can Do Hard Things” (episode 220). Her name is Katherine May. She is a New York Times bestseller author and, as Glennon stated she would like to be able to say, “she lives by the sea in Whitstable, England” (2023).

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

Katherine stated those that experience autism can hear, see, and feel a lot more things in comparison to someone who is neurotypical. For example, she stated she used to ask others if they can see the rainbows when light is reflected a certain way and has learned to stop asking because no one else could see the rainbows. Another example is hearing the humming of electronic items such as the buzzing or humming of a fluorescent light or a radiator. When it comes to touch, Katherine May stated she feels a feeling of an electric shock.

After listening to both podcast episodes with guest speakers Hannah Gadsby and Katherine May, I started to wonder if I am in the autistic spectrum. While growing up, I (as well as my family members) noticed I couldn’t stand being around bright lights as well as not liking loud sound for such a long time (I felt drained). Like May, I wanted to hide somewhere during parties (as in find a calm place that wasn’t so loud) or, if I forced myself to endure, I would feel so tired. I used to say it’s because I’m an introvert but when I kept pondering how too much touch throughout the day and noticing obsessively the humming that occurs in the room where others seem to be obvious of the noise caused me to think otherwise. The thing that really confirms it to me is what is called a meltdown. In hearing Katherine May’s (as well as Robyn Steward’s) definition, I stated “That explains my so-called outbursts that family members have often attempted to correct me while I was growing up.” May states it this way (2023):

But then, sometimes [extreme distress] really pushes you over the edge. You can get really upset or lose your temper. When you see autistic people having a meltdown or seeming to behave irrationally, we’re behaving in exactly the same way that a neurotypical person would if they had a loudspeaker blaring in their ear and having to wear a Velcro shirt turned inside-out or something. That’s the level of discomfort we’re at. When you see neurotypical people in pain, they react in exactly the same way, but for us, we’re at that threshold in just everyday life, and it’s just really, really difficult to cope with.

Why So Many Women Don’t Know They are Autistic with Katherine May (2023)

The final “hmm” for me (as in thinking I might be on the autistic spectrum) is not just feeling my own feelings so much but also feeling the feelings of others that are in the same room and also connecting how one person is having “beef” with another person. This is tiring and I often find myself saying “I’m going to take a nap” after being around my family for a long time (I even said it today but I decided to come to my blog before taking a nap). One small clip of demonstrating feeling so much feeling would be what I saw in Barbie movie; when Barbie was given the view of what it is to be human—seeing the light come through the leaves, hearing the laughter of others, and the other quick glances of things in life in which I cannot recall right now. I attempted to find the clip on YouTube but couldn’t find it. 😦

I would like to end this blog entry by sharing a song I found when creating a reel at Instagram. It’s called “Autism Speaks” by Kaylah Taylor.

To learn more about Katherine May and her insight on autism, click here. For independent women that are searching for a resource on how to be safe while being on the autistic spectrum, I recommend The Independent Woman’s Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum by Robyn Steward (click here to read my book review).

Reference

Doyle, G. (2023). Why So Many Women Don’t Know They are Autistic with Katherine May. Apple Podcasts Preview. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/220-why-so-many-women-dont-know-they-are-autistic-with/id1564530722?i=1000617648736

This Here Flesh – Book Review

Dear Reader,

I hope you are doing well. I was introduced to This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, And The Stories That Make Us by Cole Arthur Riley from episode 103 of “We Can Do Hard Things” with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). Cole Arthur Riley was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

I had written a quick review of this book at my blog (click here to read it). But after finish reading it today, I thought I should loop back to this book to give it more justice. While re-listening to episode 103 of “We Can Do Hard Things,” I am reminded of why I thought it would be interesting to read the book. As Glennon Doyle mentioned (2022):

It’s not even a book. It’s a sacred text. It’s a spirituality. It’s a whole thing.

Doyle, G. (2022). How to Be More Alive with Cole Arthur Riley

It’s a discussion of the author’s spiritual journey in which she hopes the reader either starts or continues to review/continue their own spiritual journey. After (or even during) reading This Here Flesh, the reader will see how Cole often contemplate things. In her contemplation, she reflects on what she has experienced from Biblical exposure, family members, and just living “as a black queer woman who lives with autoimmune disease” (Doyle, 2022).

Cole was thinking of “her people” when writing This Here Flesh (Doyle, 2022). She wrote “to honor the people that [she loves] and who have held [her]” (Doyle, 2022). I, personally, want to thank her for keeping “her people” in mind. There were a few things Cole wrote that allowed me to say “me too” (as in this is also a part of my life). I was also the quiet Black girl who was selectively mute who also attempted to break this behavior by mimicking what others were doing (ex: being witty). And, yes, Cole, it is “exhausting” (Arthur Riley, 2022, p. 184)! 🙂 And, yes, Cole, there is freedom when one stops pretending (Arthur Riley, 2022).

Another point Cole mentioned was when Africans dominantly stated that she was part of a certain tribe until they realized she was an American. First, feeling the hope of belonging and then the devastating hit of “Oh, no, I’m sorry. You are not one of us” is heartbreaking. The desire to know what I was mixed with as an African American female continued to haunt me while I was growing up. Not quite fitting anywhere as a human being can be depressing. Seeing others expressing joy of just being while one is barely able to breath is something I know so well.

…joy was one of my earliest alienators. If I did not belong to this loud, laughing family, whose was I? I was the child who would sit in closets or bathrooms while everyone else laughed together in the kitchen. Every now and again, someone would knock and whisper through to me, Well, you gonna join us, hunny? But I’d stay tucked away under Goosebumps books and shadows, knowing I was never going to laugh like them.

Arthur Riley C. (2022, p. 168)

Cole continues by saying that it took her a while to realize her family wasn’t desiring her to be happy (Arthur Riley, 2022). Instead, they were desiring for her to be close. “Just stay with me” was the gentle pull her sister said in one incident while using her hands to pull Cole close while feeding her with spinach dip (Arthur Riley, 2022, p. 168).

I really don’t want to end my blog entry here but I have been sitting at my computer while re-listening to the podcast and flipping though This Here Flesh to recall other things I wanted to write for over an hour and life is calling me away from the computer. So, unfortunately, I will have to end my writing here. I recommend this book but note one has to be ready for this book. If you start reading it and it doesn’t resonate a connection, try reading it a year later.

To get your own copy of This Here Flesh, click here. To learn more about Cole Arthur Riley, click here.

Reference

Arthur Riley C. (2022). This here flesh : spirituality liberation and the stories that make us (First). Convergent.

Doyle, G. (2022). How to Be More Alive with Cole Arthur Riley. Apple Podcasts Preview. https://podcasts.apple.com/si/podcast/how-to-be-more-alive-with-cole-arthur-riley/id1564530722?i=1000565730425

Know My Name – Book Review

Dear Reader,

I hope you and yours are doing well. As I sit before my computer screen, I am relistening to “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast episode 92 that I had listened to about a year ago.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

The guest speaker is Chanel Miller. Her book, Know My Name, has been on my to-read list at GoodReads since October 2022 and, therefore, I had completely forgot what the book was all about until I started to read a copy from the library during this month.

The beginning of the book hit me hard. I realized this book was something I had to read while alone. Processing such events brings up a lot of emotions in which causes me to want to go into the life of the person and give them a big hug. When I read how Chanel did receive “hugs” from various individuals around the world, I was able to relax and let out a huge sigh. That was when I knew the the author was okay. We, as in global, was holding her up when she had thought she was the only one that experienced such inhuman acts and mental anguish. She was surrounded with love and humanity was saying something needs to be done.

Chanel Miller was the one that started a conversation not only in California but in the United States as well as the world. She wrote a 12-page letter to her attacker in which was her victim impact statement. Katie J.M. Baker asked to release Chanel’s statement on BuzzFeed (click here to read it). It didn’t take long for it to go viral. People started to read the statement in various group gatherings such as a congressperson on the House floor. It was translated into Spanish, French, and other languages. The statement was also published in various entities such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Guardian. Then came the responses. Then came the “I see you” (i.e. “hugs”) directly to Chanel: letters, gifts, etc. Even Joe Biden wrote Chanel from the White House underneath his vice president title.

“The statement had created a room, a place for survivors to step into and speak aloud their heaviest truths, to revisit the untouched parts of their past” (Miller, 2019, p. 252). To view Chanel’s explanation in an animated fashion, watch the video below.

To learn more about Chanel Miller, click here. To get your own copy of Know My Name, click here. For resources that are associated with violence, sexual assault, harassment, etc., click here.

Reference

Miller C. (2019). Know my name : a memoir. Viking an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.