Book Review – My Name Is Barbra

Dear Reader,

Hello! I’m back with my third book that I had checked out from the library on May 28th: My Name Is Barbra by Barbra Streisand. I heard about this memoir while listening to “CBS Mornings on the Go” podcast. I have been trying to find the episode for about an hour so I could place the link here but, unfortunately, time is going by and I did want to write the book review before I dropped off the book today (it’s due today and I cannot renew it since there are others in line for it).

My first recall of Barbra Streisand was the movie “Hello Dolly!” There is a specific phrase Dolly Levi, the character Streisand plays, says that has stuck with me since childhood (in which can also be found in her memoir).

Money is like manure. It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging your things to grow

My Name Is Barbra (2023, p. 908)

Besides this wondering quote, I enjoyed the dorky dances, beautiful costumes, the catchy songs, and the most beautiful climax of the musical: the song “Hello Dolly!” Within the memoir, Streisand stated the gown she wore for that big number was “completely embroidered in gold threads and encrusted with jewels”—in other words “it was enormously expensive” (Streisand, 2023, p. 277).

Watching “Hello Dolly!” as a child left a deep impression on me. I used to, and still do, think that Barbra Streisand is so beautiful and was so annoyed whenever someone said otherwise. She talks about it in the prologue of her memoir. In addition, the prologue talks about the reason for her to write her memoir.

You see, I like facts. I have great respect for facts, and the idea of just making something up really bothers me.

My Name Is Barbra (2023, p. 3)

I also like facts and, so, I knew when I heard that she was writing her autobiography (or, I believe when I heard about it, it was a “did” instead of “was”), I had to read it. Even if it is 966 pages (yes, I was shocked when I heard the number of pages), I thought “I’ll just keep renewing it from the library until I finish.” But then I saw how popular it was (go figure) so I placed myself in line for it a while ago. I received a second shock when I was pushed up in line so fast that I ended up having this book and two other books from the library awaiting for me. So I just divided up the amount of pages to the amount of days I had the library until it was due. Then, I found myself on some days that I had to just read past the 46 pages that I needed to read each day because it was just amazing on what Streisand had accomplished.

I was surprised to find out that she wanted to act first before she was a singer. Yes, she sang to support her acting but acting was number one in her mind. To the joy of the world, she is great with both.

Another musical I watched Streisand in it is called “Funny Girl.” From her memoir, I found out this was the first movie she had done. I had often heard the saying “happy gorgeous” when I was a child but I don’t remember when I had found out it was Streisand’s voice who said it. And it was when I had watched a copy of “Funny Girl” DVD from the library that I realized where that saying comes from.

I also enjoyed the song “Don’t Rain On My Parade” from the same musical.

While reading My Name Is Barbra, I had also recalled that I had seen a Netflix special about Barbra Streisand while unpacking some items at my apartment in 2018 while fully pregnant with my daughter. I was glad that it was still on Netflix so, once I was almost done with reading her memoir, I watched it again so I would get more out of it. It is entitled “Barbra: The Music … The Mem’ries … The Magic!” (click here to watch it).

I believe I was introduced to “Yentl” from the Netflix special. It was when reading Streisand’s memoir that I had found out not only was she an actress in it, she had also directed it. I was blown away!

Within the Netflix special and her memoir, Streisand explains how she ended up creating an album with actors and actresses that can also sing. The album is called “Encore” and you can watch the official videos from the recordings on YouTube.

I can write more about Streisand but I think this will do. She is amazing and her book was amazing. I have nine pages to read so I’m going to go, now, and read them. If you aren’t a reader and would like to get a taste of her memoir, click on the link below to watch a thirteen-minute video with the interview with Gayle King.

For more information about Barbra Streisand, click here. To get a copy of My Name Is Barbra, click here. To watch the interview Gayle King had with Streisand about her memoir, click here.

Reference

Streisand, B. (2023). My name is barbra. Viking, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.

Book Review – When Bad Things Happen To Good People

Dear Reader,

Hello, once again. I hope you and your loved ones are doing well. If you are not doing well, here’s a book I recommend reading. It is entitled When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold S. Kushner. I learned about this during an afternoon presentation (called “Mental Health and Trauma” by Dr. K’dee Crews) while attending CORE Upclose on July 8, 2023.

This following quote was what I read first from this book in which was used during the presentation on explaining the just-world hypothesis on why suffering occurs:

Like most people, I was aware of the human tragedies that darkened the landscape—the young people who died in car crashes, the cheerful, loving people wasted by crippling disease, the neighbors and relatives whose retarded or mentally ill children people spoke of in hushed tones. But that awareness never drove me to wonder about God’s justice, or to question His fairness. I assumed He knew more about the world than I did. Then came that day in the hospital when the doctor told us about Aaron and explained what progeria meant. It contradicted everything I had been taught. I could only repeat over and over again in my mind, ‘This can’t be happening. It is not how the world is supposed to work.’ Tragedies like this happen to selfish, dishonest people whom I, as a rabbi, would then try to comfort by assuring them of God’s forgiving love. How could it be happening to me, to my son, if what I believed about the world is true?

When Bad Things Happen To Good People (1981, p. 5)

I had written notes on several Post-it notes while reading a copy of When Bad Things Happen To Good People so that once I was sitting here at the computer and writing this book review, I could just refer to these notes. The first note, referring to the quote below, I had written says “this is golden!”

A parent who disciplines a child for doing something wrong but never tells him what he is being punished for, is hardly a model of responsible parenthood. Yet, those who explain suffering as God’s why of teaching us to change are at a loss to specify just what it is about us we are supposed to change.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People (1981, p. 28)

The next note mentioned for me to consider sharing and, yes, I have considered and I decided not to share it since it wouldn’t do justice to only share two paragraphs (i.e. have to share about two pages for the reader to grasp the concept). If you are interested, you can read if suffering the result of being tested by God on pages 29 – 31. I will share the ending portion of it below.

Does God ‘temper the wind to the shorn lamb?’ Does He never ask more of us than we can endure? My experience, alas, has been otherwise. I have seen people crack under the strain of unbearable tragedy. I have seen marriages break up after the death of a child, because parents blamed each other for not taking proper care or for carrying the defective gene, or simply because the memories they shared were unendurably painful. I have seen some people made noble and sensitive through suffering, but I have seen many more people grow cynical and bitter. I have seen people become jealous of those around them, unable to take part in the routines of normal living. I have seen cancers and automobile accidents take the life of one member of a family, and functionally end the lives of five others, who could never again be the normal, cheerful people they were before disaster struck. If God is testing us, He must know by now that many of us fail the test. If He is only giving us burdens we can bear, I have seen Him miscalculate far too often.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People (1981, p. 31)

I saw that as a good point! At the end of this chapter entitled “Why Do The Righteous Suffer?”, Kushner states all of the responses to tragedy that has been considered within that chapter have at least one thing in common: “they all assume that God is the cause of our suffering, and they try to understand why God would want us to suffer” (1981, p. 34). As a result, “we were left either hating ourselves for deserving such a fate, or hating God for sending it to us when we did not deserve it” (Kushner, 1981, p. 34). The last two paragraphs allows the reader to consider if something else is the reason for suffering. Kushner states instead of God deciding which families to give birth to a handicapped child, could it be that God stands ready to help those type of families if they can get beyond the feelings of guilt and anger that separate us from Him? (1981, p. 35).

The second chapter talks about the man name Job. According to Kushner, the book of Job (found in the Bible) is “a long philosophical poem on the subject of why God lets bad things happen to good people” (1981, p. 36). Reading into the chapter, the author states what Job understood was the reason of his suffering.

…we live in an unjust world, from which we cannot expect fairness. There is a God, but He is free of the limitations of justice and righteousness.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People (1981, p. 47)

Kushner states “forced to choose between a good God who is not totally powerful, or a powerful God who is not totally good, the author of the Book of Job chooses to believe in God’s goodness” (1981, p. 49).

Chapter three is entitled “Sometimes There Is No Reason.” Within this chapter, I had placed how I was enjoying the book up to page 59, paragraph 3. The following paragraph stated something that not all Christians believe but the author stated it with the word “we” (as in “we know today”). At that point, I felt a sourness in my stomach. I sighed and said “well, I’m not going to let one doctrinal disagreement stop me from the reviewing the precious rubies that can be gathered from this book and shared with others.” So I kept reading.

I didn’t have another note for chapter three so, moving on to chapter four, that is entitled “No Exceptions For Nice People,” Kushner mentioned how natural laws is the reason people become sick. He stated the following:

I don’t know why one person gets sick, and another does not, but I can only assume that some natural laws which we don’t understand are at work. I cannot believe that God ‘sends’ illness to a specific person for a specific reason. I don’t believe in a God who has a weekly quota of malignant tumors to distribute, and consults His computer to find out who deserves one most or who could handle it best.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People (1981, p. 69)

Kushner believes it would be helpful to rephrase the question from “why good people have to suffer” to “why any people have to suffer at all.” To find his answer, please read pages 69 – 74. It includes:

• The reason for pain (i.e. the science behind pain)
• Why some people recover from sickness faster compared to those that don’t (hint: community)
• Cannot indefinitely abuse the body and neglect health without increasing the risk of something going wrong (ex: smoke two packs of cigarettes and then say “How could God do this to me?” when end up developing lung cancer)

Those that suffer after losing someone to death are often given such phrases that are meant to provide comfort. However, some can often lead people away from God instead of moving towards God. I like how Kushner states how Homer’s Odyssey shares the “gift” of being mortal. Those that are mortals would find life full of meaning and noting how every decision is significant because time is limited for mortals. As a result, whenever the mortal in Odyssey choose to do something, it represented “a real choice” (Kushner, 1981, p. 78-79). And if people lived forever and never died, Kushner mentioned one of two things would have to happen: “the world would become impossibly crowded, or else people would avoid having children to avoid that crowding” (1981, p. 80). He also stated “humanity would be deprived of that sense of a fresh start, that potential for something new under the sun, which the birth of a child represents” (1981, p. 80). In conclusion, Kushner stated we probably never would have been born (1981, p. 80).

In chapter five, entitled “God Leaves Us Room To Be Human,” I had one note on that had things could happen because humans aren’t animals. In other words, we have free choice. As a result, some choices lead to bad things happening (see pages 89 -91).

When I reached to chapter six, the title caught my attention: “God Helps Those Who Stop Hurting Themselves.” This caught my attention.

If we want to be able to pick up the pieces of our lives and go on living, we have to get over the irrational feeling that every misfortune is our fault, the direct result of our mistakes or misbehavior. We are not that powerful. Not everything that happens in this world is our doing.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People (1981, p. 113)

Since I am still reading this book, I will have to end with chapter seven (there are eight chapters; the eighth one is called “What Good, Then, Is Religion?”) in which is entitled “God Can’t Do Everything, But He Can Do Some Important Things.” This chapter explains the subject of prayer. As Kushner states, people often pray for favorable outcomes (ex: operations). He mentioned something that is solemn: “If prayer worked the way many people think it does, no one would ever die, because no prayer is ever offered more sincerely than the prayer for life, for health and recovery from illness, for ourselves and for those we love” (1981, p. 126). Kushner believed in another reason for prayer and even states how the Talmud gives examples of bad prayers, improper prayers, which one should not utter.

• If a woman is already pregnant, no one should pray that it would be a boy (nor pray for it to be a girl) because this has already been determined at conception
• If a man sees a fire engine racing to their neighborhood, don’t pray for it to not be their house because a certain house is already on fire

To sum all of this up, Kushner states he believes God doesn’t send us a problem (i.e. God doesn’t give someone a disabled child) but He does give us the strength to cope with the problem.

To learn more about Harold S. Kushner, click here. To get a copy of When Bad Things Happen To Good People, click here.

Reference

Kushner, H. S. (1981). Why bad things happen to good people. Schocken Books.

Book Review – Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age

Dear Reader,

Hello, there! I hope you are doing well. I am currently reading three books from the library right now (not counting graphic novels). Not on purpose! I was in line for one book that is 966 pages and, somehow, I bounced from about ninth to first in line within a week or so. I groaned because it didn’t seem possible to read this book (in which I cannot renew) and also two other books that are 200-something pages. But, because Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age by Katherine May is an easy-read for me (like reading essays) and the other 200-something-pages book is a spiritual one, it is getting done. So, before I have to return all three of those books, I am striving to write about each one of them by this upcoming Tuesday.

I learned about Katherine May and her book entitled Enchantment from episode 220 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). She was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

One thing that I had read that I thought was deep in the book was how May realized why she was experiencing burnout. She had willingly surrendered her meditation time “because I thought it would be a vanity to demand it” (May, 2023, p. 50). So I thought to myself “how many of us do something similar and wonder why we are experiencing burnout?” May didn’t just give up meditation but also reading, time alone, hot baths, walking, silence, and standing in the garden at sunrise (2023, May). She replaced those things with work and “care” (May, 2023, p. 50). As a result, May found out that, without them, there was nothing left of herself (2023).

What Katherine May found out about present-day burnout is something that I can relate to—it showed her that she is ready to be made again (2023).

How have I allowed this great pleasure in my life—the act of sitting quietly with a book and drinking in its words—to become so heavy, so freighted with obligation? Somewhere along the line, I lost the sense of playfulness that drew me towards it in the first place. No wonder my reading went on strike.

Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age (2023, p. 129)

According to May, one form of enchantment is play (2023). She mentioned she has been fascinated by how adults play.

Conventional wisdom says that most of us lose the thread of it, our minds greying alongside our hair. But that’s because we only recognise a certain kind of play, and so only associate playfulness with the adults who carry on doing the things that we expect children to do, like springing practical jokes and collecting stuffed toys. All that shows is our limited vocabulary for pleasure. It is either childlike—primary-coloured, messy, loud—or adult, dark and smoky, transgressive. These are only some of the ways it’s possible to play. Deep play—those big, immersive, unprofitable processes in which we invest our whole identity—is fundamental to me, and yet mine looks dry to the outside world, colourless.

Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age (2023, p. 137)

The last thing I wanted to share is how May stated that childhood talent doesn’t necessarily translate to an adult one (2023). She had learned what happens when one turns away from play: bitterness, frustration, not feeling/being nurtured, and feeling strangled (May, 2023). If one has noticed such “symptoms,” please keep reading.

May, who is on the autistic spectrum, explained how, when she was a child, her type of play was with words and, like many autistic children, she grew up thinking that wasn’t the right kind of play (2023). She was urged to go outside, play with dolls, and run around but all she wanted to do was write (2023). (Side Note: to read more on what I had already written on how Katherine May describes how it is to be a woman on the autistic spectrum, click here). What I got from this is to find your type of play and do this often to avoid burnout. Get back into the wonder of the world in various elements: earth, water, fire, and air. These were the things that gave us a sense of wonder as a child. Unfortunately, as adults, we lose the sense of wonder due to adult-duties. The hope is that we can gain some of this wonder back.

To get a copy of Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age by Katherine May, click here. To learn more about Katherine May, click here. To read her insight on autism, click here. For independent women that are searching for a resource on how to be safe while being on the autistic spectrum, I recommend The Independent Woman’s Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum by Robyn Steward (click here to read my book review).

Reference

May, K. (2023). Enchantment : awakening wonder in an anxious age. Riverhead Books.

Book Review – Flawless

Dear Reader,

Hello! I hope you are doing well. I find myself back here again due to having two library books due next week and I want to find time to write about them both before I have to return them. The one I will write about today is called Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital by Elise Hu.

I learned about this book by listening to “CBS Mornings on the Go” podcast (click here to listen to the episode). To watch a video version, click here. This book meant a lot to me because I work in the mental health area and understand how certain thoughts/behaviors from collective cultures can become a problem. I do love collective cultures and admire how they work together to get things done. But just as individualism has cons, so does collectivism.

Reading about the history that is associated with lookism and other -isms allowed me to view certain things I heard about the Korean culture in a different lighting. There was a famous social media post that was going around a few/several years ago about an Asian man who ended up divorcing his wife after finding out her physical appears was created through surgery. Americans didn’t understand why such a man would do such a thing because we lack the understanding of the Asian culture (i.e. in “Flawless,” it stated how looks are important in Korea for job security, etc. and so if their offspring doesn’t look a certain way, they can be shunned by society). The historical background caused me to say “ah, ha!” on several occasions.

Another “ah, ha” was from recalling a fellow graduate student who was also into Korean drama, food, community, etc. had stated during class how Koreans were currently having high suicidal rates. She also sounded like she had a longing to help those from this demographic. It all made sense after reading chapters of this book.

I want to encourage you to read this book. If you aren’t a reader, you can listen to the audio or watch the video of what Elise Hu states from her own experience while in Korea (see the links above).

For more information about Elise Hu, click here. To get a copy of Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital, click here. To join the flawless inside list, click here.

Reference

Hu, E. (2023). Flawless : lessons in looks and culture from the K-beauty capital. Dutton, an imprint of Peguin Random House LLC.

Book Review – Lessons I Learned in the Dark

Dear Reader,

I hope you are doing well. It’s been a while since I had written a book review. So, since I am not seeing any clients right now, it’s the perfect time to sit and reflect. Lessons I Learned in the Dark by Jennifer Rothschild was a book that I had heard about when I was still working at a dental office. It was on the screen of one of the TVs a patient was watching. I think the channel was TBN—Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Before continuing, I would like to write a “disclaimer”—a word of caution due to desiring to reduce the idea that the book is for everyone:

Please note the audience the author was writing to is to Christians. Therefore, if you are not a Christian or desire to avoid reading Biblical scriptures or Christian beliefs, this books is not for you.

I was interested in this book because the author used the clever way of spinning the word “dark” to relate to her misfortune (or, to some, it may be viewed as a fortune) of physically being in the dark to spiritually being in the dark. So it was left on my wish list at Amazon for almost two decades until my husband bought me this and a couple of other books as a Christmas gift. I like how she is able to share with the reader what she has experienced once she became blind and also what she had spiritually experienced in relation to that physical journey of walking through life without being able to visually see.

One of my favorite chapters is entitled “Follow The Leader.” It’s also a great example of using something physical to demonstrate the spiritual. Jennifer Rothschild and her husband was looking for a way to enjoy recreational activities together. Her husband, Phil, was into sports and, according to Rothschild, lack on involvement had little to do with her blindness (2002).

It has more to do with the fact that if I’m going to engage in something slow and expensive that makes me tired and sweaty, it’s most likely to be shopping. Now that’s healthy!

Yes, she has a great sense of humor (as readers will find out)! One day, Phil came home with the idea of using a bicycle for two. Unfortunately, while Phil was riding with excitement, Jennifer was riding with panic. As a result, she started to bark out commands such as “slow down!” and “I hear an in-line skater; veer left!” (Rothschild, 2002, p. 153). After a while, the bicycle came to a complete stop and Phil said in a very tense and controlled voice “Honey, will you please stop telling me how to steer the bike?” (Rothschild, 2002, p. 153)

The following day, Jennifer was so quiet that her husband ended up asking if she was okay back there. She was. She was actually enjoying the ride due to being able to notice other things: the music of tricycles and palm fronds (Rothschild, 2002). Although she had stated how riding on the back of a bicycle is “always a little unsettling” due to not being in charge, even when one trusts the driver, when the journey includes thorny places that makes one feel helpless or weak (Rothschild, 2002). Then she goes on explaining how the apostle Paul had an affliction that also made him feel this way and how we might be able to chart a course through thorns. Very clever comparisons!

To watch a similar video of what I believed I saw while in the dental office, click on the play button below.

To learn more about Jennifer Rothschild, click here. To get a copy or listen to the audiobook of Lessons I Learned in the Dark, click here.

Reference

Rothschild, J. (2002). Lessons I learned in the dark. Multnomah.

Book Review – In The FLO

Dear Reader,

Hello! I hope you and yours are doing well. I had came across this book by listening to a “LadyGang” podcast episode entitled “Alisa Vitti” (click here to listen). It is called In The FLO by Alisa Vitti.

Alisa Vitti is known as being the author of another book entitled “Women Code” and is a women’s hormone expert. I was convinced about what Vitti has to share while listening to her conversation on “LadyGang” and wanted to go in depth of understanding what she was presenting by reading In The FLO. This book is a must for all women! I repeat, this book is a must for ALL women! (Side Note: a similar recommended book that I had previously recommended is entitled The Menopause Manifesto)

I like how she introduced to the reader the anatomy of the women’s hormones and menstruation cycle. And, from there, she builds up a foundation. Prior to building the reader up, Vitti states how we are often mis-educated about the women’s body and hormonal cycle and gives a beautiful way of being introduced to the women’s reproductive system (2020, p. 17-18):

The female reproductive system is the crowning achievement of human evolution and reproduction. Efficient and highly adaptable, seven hormones work in symphonic relationship to cause four highly refined processes to take place in a given monthly cycle: the development of multiple follicles, ovulation, the building of the lining of the uterus (to prepare for possible conception), and the release of that lining when conception does not occur. When conception does occur, the process of gestation is absolutely breathtaking. The rate of growth of the fetus made possible by changes in the woman’s hormones, immune function, and metabolism is astonishing. And the fact that this process is also beneficial to the mother is remarkable as well. The process of labor and delivery—one that seems to pose extreme physical danger—is the peak example of how women’s bodies transform into a channel of power to safely deliver the baby and preserve themselves. The female body, biologically potent, supports this menstrual and reproductive process by being the more efficient extractor of micronutrients from food, by having the more developed immune system, by having a slightly slower metabolic system to retain nutrients for as long as possible before the elimination system gets to them, and by having more connections of nerve fibers between the two hemispheres of the brain. This biological precision ensures that a women is sensitive to herself, her body, her community, and her environment, so she can make the best decisions for her well-being, as she is the one privileged by nature’s design to carry the intense responsibility of creating the next generation of humans. And when not creating a human, all of these same systems support her in being a strong and attuned leader in her community and in the world.

Vitti speaks about how all of us know about a physical clock (the circadian 24-hour clock) that often gets disrupted whenever we fly from east to west. Then she states how women have a second clock: the 28-day infradian rhythm. And, ignoring this second clock has caused women to be placed in things/situations (such as in research) that only work for men because men are built differently in comparison to women.

I was excited to read about my body after reading over this way of looking at it. Here’s another quote that fascinated me (2020, p. 65-66):

When your hormones are working harmoniously, they allow you to unlock all the benefits of your biological systems and feminine energy. But period problems, such as fibroids, endometriosis, and PCOS, can dampen your experience of your cycling benefits. So the first thing you need to do as part of the Cycle Syncing Method™ is to resolve any hormonal issues—this is what women do with us at http://www.FLOliving.com. You’ll learn the specific steps to take toward hormonal healing in the Biohacking Tool Kit section at the end of Part II.

The four phases of the menstrual cycle are as follows:

• Follicular phase (the 7 to 10 days after a period)
• Ovulatory phase (the 4 days in the middle of a cycle)
• Luteal phase (the 10 to 14 days between ovulation and a period)
• Menstrual phase (the 3 to 7 days of a period)

I was thankful that the “LadyGang” was able to have Alisa Vitti on their podcast. From this discussion, in which is also found in the book, I learned about some ways to get out of balance hormones back into balance such as being aware there are endocrine disruptors in household cleaners, products, skin care, personal care products, cosmetics, plastics, pharmaceuticals, and food (Vitti, 2020, p. 188). Vitti even shares how getting hormones back in balance can help ones sex drive. Here’s a sample (2020, p. 253):

MAKE A SUPER SEX-DRIVE SALAD

Here’s a recipe that’s chock-full of the micronutrients just listed that are libido enhancers for both sexes. Enjoy!

Super Sex-Drive Salad

• 6 slices watermelon
• 1 bunch asparagus
• 1/4 cup raw pumpkin seeds
• 1/4 cup raw walnuts
• 2 stalks celery
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• Sea salt or pink salt to taste

Cut asparagus into two-inch pieces and steam lightly, so they are still crunchy. Cut watermelon into matchsticks the size of the asparagus pieces. Use a spice grinder to grind the pumpkin seeds and walnuts. Toss into the salad. Break out your mandolin, shred some celery paper-thin, and sprinkle it on top of the salad. Drizzle with a little extra virgin olive oil and a pinch of sea salt and lemon juice.

About two days after starting to read In The FLO, I heard on “CBS Mornings on the Go” podcast shared Keltie Knight (one of the hostess on “LadyGang”) had struggled with health problems that are related to her reproductive system and ended up getting a hysterectomy (click here to listen to this episode). This sadden me. I was thinking “she tried but I guess it was too late for her.”

After Alisa Vitti was able to get her hormonal dysfunction into remission, she wanted to help other women who are struggling with menstrual health issues and created www.FLOliving.com. I really liked the food FLO chart (part of The Cycle Syncing Method™) that is found in the book (on page 105 and 106). For a sample of what is in this food FLO chart, click here. Another thing that I found interesting was how Vitti stated by looking at the color of the menstrual blood (i.e. period) can tell a woman about their own health. She states to think of it as a monthly at-home hormone test (click here to check right now).

To get a copy of In The FLO, click here. To learn more about Alisa Vitti, click here. For free resources (ex: where can get in the FLO with along with support), click here. To dive deeper, use the MyFLO app. Sign up for the cycle syncing membership here.

Reference

Vitti, A. (2020). In The Flo (First edition). HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers.

Book Review – Finding Me

Dear Reader,

Hello. I hope you are doing well. I had just watched the Netflix special when Oprah Winfrey interviews Viola Davis for her Finding Me memoir. While watching it, I was busy scrolling up and down on my blog while using my iPod Touch to recall what I had wrote about this book. And, to my surprise, I couldn’t find a blog entry. At first, I thought it might be because it was further on down (i.e. my iPod keep freezing to catch up with the scrolling down). So I logged into WordPress to do a quicker search of my posts. Still, nothing. So I went to GoodReads to find out when I had finished reading Finding Me (in which it was July 11, 2023) so I could scroll down to the blog entries by date. Nope! Not there. So this is what must have happened. I had read my husband’s copy of the book and said to myself “I’ll write a book review once I watch the Netflix special” since the book wasn’t a library book (i.e. can flip through the book whenever).

And then, I forgot to do that.

I don’t recall how I learned about Finding Me by Viola Davis. I thought it might have been from CBS Mornings on the Go but I just scrolled down on their archives and I didn’t see her name in the written out previews for the episodes that were around the time I had placed the book on my “to read” list at GoodReads (which was on December 13, 2022). However I found out, I was glad that I had read it. We never know the background of others until they share it. And, yes, Davis has an interesting life story. She grew up knowing that she was poor. There were evidence in her living quarters (ex: living with rats, no phone, and parts of the building was in despite need of repairing) as well as evidence of how her family lived (ex: had to hand wash their clothes for school the night before and hoped they were dry to wear the next day).

Davis said in her book as well as in the Netflix special that she is thankful for teachers that saw here. One teacher, Mr. Aissis, changed her life by providing her a pamphlet for Arts Recognition and Talent Search. It was a national competition in Miami, Florida. The only reason why Mr. Aissis saw this opportunity and gave it to Davis is because he saw her potential. “I drove him crazy” Davis stated (2022, p. 111).

I was just bad. I talked too much. I was the classic theater kid who needed a creative outlet an couldn’t find one, so I created it for myself, inappropriately, in class. In other words, I acted out. Literally.

Along with the help of her Upward Bound counselor, Jeff Kenyon, whom said, after questioning her on the whys she couldn’t do the competition, “You’ve run out of excuses” (Davis, 2022, p. 114), Davis took that step towards becoming an actress.

Thousands applied in the competition for drama alone, and only thirty would be chosen. I didn’t believe I had a chance, but I was proud that I did it; that I did the hard, arduous work of applying.

Viola Davis ended up being one of the thirty that was accepted. She ended up receiving a full ride to college with the Preparatory Enrollment Program scholarship in which was the sister program of Upward Bound. She made up her mind that she was going to just not be an actress but also work (i.e. support herself). Despite her fortunate status, she often thought about her younger sister, Danielle, who was still home in the same situation of living poor that Davis had came out of. There were visits back home, along with her sister, Deloris, when they would pull out money and treat Danielle to things such as ice cream. It was her older sister, Dianne, who put it in Davis and her sister that they were to go to college so that they wouldn’t end up like their parents. Along with her self determination, she made it.

To get a copy of Finding Me, click here. To learn more about Viola Davis, click here. To watch the Netflix special entitled “Oprah + Viola,” click here.

Reference

Davis, V. (2022). Finding me (First edition). HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ebony Magazine Publishing.

Book Review – You Could Make This Place Beautiful

Dear Reader,

I hope you are doing well. I have come back once again to mention another book that I had found out by listening to episode 209 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). It’s called You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith. Maggie Smith was the guest speaker and Glennon Doyle had asked to do this episode solo (i.e. no Abby nor Amanda during this one) due to her personally relating to the book.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

The title itself has a story:

When I first started writing this book, I joked that a more accurate title might be Notes from a Shipwreck or Anecdotes from an Airship in Flames. Because, well, truth in advertising.

But the more time passed, the less I hurt. The less I hurt, the more I was able to see how beautiful, how full, my life was. I felt myself smiling as I walked in my neighborhood. My eyes followed the calls of birds to find them in the trees—grackles, woodpeckers, crows, robins, blue jays, cardinals. I’d built a life in which my days were like this: taking long walks, writing, mothering, cackling over coffee or cocktails with friends, sleeping alone some nights, being held close by someone I loved other nights. I was unfolding, learning to take up space. Life began to feel open enough, elastic enough, to contain whatever I might choose for it.

Now I see the title as a call to action—a promise I’d made not only to this book, and to you, but to myself. A promise I intend to keep.

You Could Make This Place Beautiful (2023, p. 289)

The author, Maggie Smith, has lanterns. Within this book, she is searching for herself. She moved through the darkness to find the beauty (Smith, 2023, p. 1). Smith said that she could have begun her story anywhere (2023, p. 2). In the end, she started with the story of an unusual pinecone (see pages 3-5).

The book itself isn’t a “tell-all” because Smith says that “all” is something we can’t access (2023, p. 1).

There’s no such thing as a tell-all, only a tell-some—a tell-most, maybe.

You Could Make This Place Beautiful (2023, p. 1)

You Could Make This Place Beautiful is a “tell-mine”—as in Maggie Smith is telling something that is herself and she also is aware that it keeps changing because she keeps changing (2023, p. 1). It’s a story of the ending of something and, also, a beginning of something else.

Towards the end of the book (p. 292), she writes the following:

Even as the story continues, this book will end. I know this. I’m running out of time and space, running out of pages, to answer these unanswerable questions. I’m trying on so many metaphors, pushing toward understanding. I’m trying on so many lines written by others but through which I can see my own experience.

I’ve wanted for years to understand what happened, and part of me feels I’ve failed because I don’t fully understand—can’t fully understand because I don’t have access to the whole picture. I only have access to the mine.

What now? I am out with lanterns, looking for myself. But here’s the thing about carrying light with you: No matter where you go, and no matter what you find—or don’t find—you change the darkness just by entering it. You clear a path through it.

This flickering? It’s mine. This path is mine.

You Could Make This Place Beautiful (2023, p. 292)

To get a copy of You Could Make This Place Beautiful, click here. To learn more about Maggie Smith, click here.

Reference

Smith, M. (2023). You could make this place beautiful : a memoir. One Signal Publishers/Atria.

Book Review – Look For Me There

Dear Reader,

Hello, there! I hope you and yours are doing well. I have another book that I had recently finished. I heard about it on “CBS Mornings on the Go” podcast (click here to listen to the episode). It is called Look For Me There by Luke Russert. It’s about what one son who had a well-known father, Tim Russert, found himself after his father’s death.

The title came from a statement his father often stated whenever him and his father were somewhere in public. If ever Luke was lost in the crowd, his father would point out a place to look for him there. This saying is spiritually seen throughout the writing of Luke Russert.

I recommend this book for those that are recently going through a loss. It may inspire one to take some action in their lives. Maybe not traveling but doing something to find satisfaction in life.

For more information about the author, click here. To get a copy of Look For Me There, click here. For destinations and travel tips (including booking, packing, getting around, solo travel, journaling, and documents), click here for destinations and start here for booking (go to main website to read the other travel tips).

Book Review – The Life Council

Dear Reader,

I hope you and yours are doing well. I’ve heard of about four or five books that had sparked my interest in the past two weeks. And it’s all from listening to podcasts. So, I have recently updated my “to read” list at GoodReads (kept the reminders by taking screenshots of the name of the podcast as well as the author and/or book) and noticed that I haven’t written about The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Women Needs by Laura Tremaine. I had placed this book as “to read” on June 8, 2023, started reading it on March 8th of this year, and finished reading it on March 26th. So, while I was reading I Did A New Thing by Tabitha Brown (click here to read my review of this book) and Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke (click here to read my review of this book), I was also reading The Life Council. No wonder why I haven’t written a blog entry about this book just yet!

I didn’t discover this book through a podcast. I found it while scrolling on Instagram. It was the following reel.

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While watching the reel, a smile slowly embedded my face. I looked for it right away on the website of the public library. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a copy available so I left it on my wish list at Amazon. My husband saw it and bought it (as well as other books) as my Christmas gift. He stated he was annoyed that it was a bit bent but I told him that I didn’t care that it was morphed. It was the words inside that count.

I am so grateful that I read it after reading Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends (click here to read my review of this book). I also recommend to read that book first before reading The Life Council. The reason I am grateful is because Tremaine touches on snippets of the book and it makes more sense to have a rearview look of such statements instead of reading Platonic afterwards and not realizing Tremaine had mentioned such things.

In The Life Council, Tremaine shares that The Life Council (not the book but the active body of friends) “is a selection of friends who fulfill various roles in your life” (2023, p. 43). She continues the thought by saying that they are “friends you can call upon when needed” and are to be viewed as similar to a Board of Directors of an institution or company—offering expertise and guidance “that provides perspective and companionship on an otherwise lonely journey” (Tremaine, 2023, p. 43).

Prior to this, she touches on some things such as friendship philosophy. My favorite one was number 5: your spouse is not your best friend. It caused me to giggle and abruptly nod. Read the book (or the free except of the book by clicking here) to find out why. Or read Platonic to find out why (Dr. Marisa G. Franco included a great example of why this can be detrimental to the marriage relationship).

The middle of the book is filled with explanations of the ten friends every women needs as well as examples from Tremaine’s own life experience. If you are interested in knowing the names of each, here they are below:

1. The Daily Duty Friend
2. The Old Friend
3. The Business Bestie
4. The Fellow Obsessive
5. The Battle Buddy
6. The Yes Friend
7. The Mentor
8. The Password Protector
9. The Empty Chair
10. The New Friend

And, no, this doesn’t mean that there has to be ten individuals but just ten roles (i.e. one person can have more than one role). Out of all of these, I liked learning about the empty chair. It allowed me to look past the ones that are already on my life council and look into possibilities for future friendships.

The end of the book are great bonuses in which Tremaine shares what she had learned about making and being a friend. She also shares how to foster a culture of healthy friendships (i.e. like Platonic states, an adult cannot be passive to maintain friends since they are no longer in elementary school in which allows friendships to naturally be cultivated).

To learn more about Laura Tremaine, click here. To get a copy or listen to the audiobook of The Life Council, click here. To read a free sample of the book, click here.