Book Review – Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age

Dear Reader,

Hello, there! I hope you are doing well. I am currently reading three books from the library right now (not counting graphic novels). Not on purpose! I was in line for one book that is 966 pages and, somehow, I bounced from about ninth to first in line within a week or so. I groaned because it didn’t seem possible to read this book (in which I cannot renew) and also two other books that are 200-something pages. But, because Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age by Katherine May is an easy-read for me (like reading essays) and the other 200-something-pages book is a spiritual one, it is getting done. So, before I have to return all three of those books, I am striving to write about each one of them by this upcoming Tuesday.

I learned about Katherine May and her book entitled Enchantment from episode 220 of “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast with hostess Glennon Doyle (along with Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle). She was the guest speaker.

Listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Read the transcript by clicking here.

One thing that I had read that I thought was deep in the book was how May realized why she was experiencing burnout. She had willingly surrendered her meditation time “because I thought it would be a vanity to demand it” (May, 2023, p. 50). So I thought to myself “how many of us do something similar and wonder why we are experiencing burnout?” May didn’t just give up meditation but also reading, time alone, hot baths, walking, silence, and standing in the garden at sunrise (2023, May). She replaced those things with work and “care” (May, 2023, p. 50). As a result, May found out that, without them, there was nothing left of herself (2023).

What Katherine May found out about present-day burnout is something that I can relate to—it showed her that she is ready to be made again (2023).

How have I allowed this great pleasure in my life—the act of sitting quietly with a book and drinking in its words—to become so heavy, so freighted with obligation? Somewhere along the line, I lost the sense of playfulness that drew me towards it in the first place. No wonder my reading went on strike.

Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age (2023, p. 129)

According to May, one form of enchantment is play (2023). She mentioned she has been fascinated by how adults play.

Conventional wisdom says that most of us lose the thread of it, our minds greying alongside our hair. But that’s because we only recognise a certain kind of play, and so only associate playfulness with the adults who carry on doing the things that we expect children to do, like springing practical jokes and collecting stuffed toys. All that shows is our limited vocabulary for pleasure. It is either childlike—primary-coloured, messy, loud—or adult, dark and smoky, transgressive. These are only some of the ways it’s possible to play. Deep play—those big, immersive, unprofitable processes in which we invest our whole identity—is fundamental to me, and yet mine looks dry to the outside world, colourless.

Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age (2023, p. 137)

The last thing I wanted to share is how May stated that childhood talent doesn’t necessarily translate to an adult one (2023). She had learned what happens when one turns away from play: bitterness, frustration, not feeling/being nurtured, and feeling strangled (May, 2023). If one has noticed such “symptoms,” please keep reading.

May, who is on the autistic spectrum, explained how, when she was a child, her type of play was with words and, like many autistic children, she grew up thinking that wasn’t the right kind of play (2023). She was urged to go outside, play with dolls, and run around but all she wanted to do was write (2023). (Side Note: to read more on what I had already written on how Katherine May describes how it is to be a woman on the autistic spectrum, click here). What I got from this is to find your type of play and do this often to avoid burnout. Get back into the wonder of the world in various elements: earth, water, fire, and air. These were the things that gave us a sense of wonder as a child. Unfortunately, as adults, we lose the sense of wonder due to adult-duties. The hope is that we can gain some of this wonder back.

To get a copy of Enchantment: Awakening Wonder In An Anxious Age by Katherine May, click here. To learn more about Katherine May, click here. To read her insight on autism, click here. For independent women that are searching for a resource on how to be safe while being on the autistic spectrum, I recommend The Independent Woman’s Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum by Robyn Steward (click here to read my book review).

Reference

May, K. (2023). Enchantment : awakening wonder in an anxious age. Riverhead Books.

Values – Recreation/Leisure

Dear Reader,

We have been through the journey of reviewing the list of values from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). What is ACT? It is part of the “third-wave” of behavioral therapy and it teaches one “to accept and embrace necessary suffering in order to increase their ability to engage in committed, life-affirming action” (Wilson et. al, 2010). Yes, suffering happens in life. Yes, we are not able to stop suffering from occurring. However, what we can do (our action) is to focus on our goals in life. What we desire to do in life, our goals, should be guided by our values. According to Wilson et. al. (2010), one of the way to work on committed, life-affirming action is by examining our values.

Here are the nine values I have written thus far:

  1. Spirituality
  2. Work/Career
  3. Intimate Relationships
  4. Parenting
  5. Education/Learning (Personal Growth)
  6. Friends/Social Life
  7. Health/Physical Self-Care
  8. Family of Origin
  9. Community Life/Environment/Nature

Today, I will be writing about the last value on this list: recreation/leisure. According to Forsyth & Eifert (2016), one is to ask self “How do you maintain yourself through hobbies, sports, or play? Why do you enjoy these things?” Play is important for us humans. There is a saying that goes as follows:

All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.

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Play is important for us humans. The reward chemical literally fires away in our brains when we are having fun. In other words, the same type of high feeling one may experience when taking a recreational or prescription drug may also be felt when one is at play. Hence the saying of “that kid is on something” whenever a child is happily playing around like they are… well… just high on life!

Play also provides a way to practice the usage of a skill or another mental capacity that can be used in day to day living (Wang & Aamodt, 2012). There are various games, songs, and other activities for children to gain social, cognitive, emotional, and perceptual knowledge that prepares them for the world (Wang & Aamodt, 2012). Teamwork is often a skill learned as a child while at play. Two examples of this are the game of tug-of-war and the human alphabet game. There are also games that teach about risk-taking. The game that came to my mind is when one person closes their eyes and allows another person to either catch them when they start to lean backwards or just lead them around while holding their hand.

For me, hobbies have been a way to express myself. It’s a way for me to say “this is what I am and what I like.” I have attempted several hobbies and collectables throughout my life. The one I often return to is artwork. Yes, this is a general term but it is me. I like art. I like to draw and I also like to view the drawings of others. I enjoy these things because I know how important art is for artists. Many have used art to reduce stress or some other uncomfortable situation they had found themselves in. Art is also beautiful! It’s a way someone allowed themselves to be vulnerable despite any criticism that may come their way. Art is also expressive and often bold.

What are your hobbies, sports, or play that you enjoy? Why do you enjoy these things?

I hope you have enjoyed the journey of reviewing the ten values found in ACT. Please feel free to comment below or message me in my About section above. For a self assessment in values, please consider completing the Valued Directions worksheet. Remember to choose answers without judging.

References

Forsyth, J. P., & Eifert, G. H. (2016). The mindfulness & acceptance workbook for anxiety: A guide to breaking free from anxiety, phobias & worry using acceptance & commitment therapy.

Wang, S., & Aamodt, S. (2012). Play, stress, and the learning brain. Cerebrum : the Dana forum on brain science2012, 12.

Wilson, K. G., Sandoz, E. K., & Kitchens, J. (2010). The valued living questionnaire: Defining and measuring valued action within a behavioral framework. The Psychological Record, 2010(60), 249-272.